She would know
by JTSplash
Summary: As news arrives of Oliver's death. Felicity holds on to the hope that he's alive because if he was dead. Show would know…right? mostly Felicity-Centric fic with some diggle and roy - strong hints of OLICITY
1. Chapter 1

**TITLE: She would know. **

**Description: As news arrives of Olivers death. Felicity holds on to the hope that he's alive….Because if he was dead. Show would know…right?**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own arrow, simply writing this for entertainment. Think the powers that be write a great show. **

**A/N: Not sure if I am 100% happy with this but I knew if I didn't post it I never would. First Arrow fic - My version of the aftermath of 309 - Please review if you think I should continue, and any thoughts you have of where this should go. I have two ideas in my head and sort of torn about how they all come together. Hope you enjoy**

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><p>"Felicity" Oliver smiles at her with one of his seldom seen grins, his hand cupping her cheek and she leans into it, bringing her own hands up to press against his chest, her thumbs rubbing the material of his shirt. "I love you" he whispers as his lips ghost over hers and she closes her eyes humming happily. The moment feels perfect but a deep unease seems to rise inside her and she can feel his body tensing beneath her fingers<p>

"Felicity…." She frowns at the ragged and pained tone in his voice, her chest aching for him and she opens her eyes to see heartbreak reflected in his. There's something wet and sticky on her palm and she lifts her hand to her face narrowing her eyes at the sight before her.

Blood.

Oliver's blood. It covers her hands and she can feel her heart racing as a sob leaves her throat. He's still calling to her and she tries to focus on his face, the pain in his eyes. "How could you let me go?" She shakes her head against his words, her hands gripping his shirt to desperately keep a hold of him. "Why didn't you tell me?" Her eyes blur with unshed tears, unable to speak again the worsening ache in her heart. His hands reach out to her as he starts to fade from her view, her name still on his lips.

"Oliver!" The scream rips from her throat as Felicity sits up in bed panting, the last dregs of the nightmare leaving her. She grabs at her chest and tries to get her self back under control, swallowing against the lump in her throat. It was just a dream and she closes her eyes but she can't shake the cold that creeps up her spine nor the ache of her empty heart. She throws herself back against the damp sheets and fails to hold back the tears that fall.

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><p>Its been five days.<p>

Five days since she had last seen his face.

Five days since he had left to fight Ra's Al Ghul.

Five days since he had pressed his lips to her forehead and told her he loved her. And she had said nothing. She had stood there in silence. Again. Letting him go without ever knowing what she felt. But he had promised he would do what she asked. He would kill Ra'Al Ghul to save his sister. And then when he came back….She'd tell him.

He'd be back.

And so she went on. She got up, went to work, went to bed though she barely slept and then she repeated it all over again. She had yet to go back to foundry, telling Diggle and Roy that the office was really busy though she could help them out from there if they needed anything. But now it was the weekend and she wasn't sure she could come up with a reason not to show up tonight and she doubted Diggle was buying it.

So Felicity made her way to the back entrance of the club feeling a little more at ease than she had in a while. Punching in the code,she opens the door and makes her way down the metal stairs to the foundry. Her footsteps seem to echo off the walls, and as she leaves the final step she takes a deep shuddering breath and shakes her head realising that a part of her had expected to find him there, training, planning….waiting for her. But the room is empty with no sign of Diggle or Roy either.

She quickly steps back into the old pattern as she boots up her computers and usual programs. Her searches haven't really pulled up anything new and she can see Diggle has been using her computer. She rolls her eyes as she put things back to way she likes them. How many times did she have to show him this way was much more efficient. They would have to have another one of their talks.

She tries her best not to let her eyes drift upwards to the salmon ladder, but she can't help herself and as she stares at the hard metal, her mind is invaded with images of Oliver, the sound of his voice, the way he looks at her when she's in the middle of one of her rambles. She remembers her last words to him and the ones she should have said. She tries to keep her mind from the nightmares and dwells only on his rare smile and those deep blue eyes. Imagining him moving along the space of the ladder, knowing she was watching him as she knows he always did.

A hand on her shoulder breaks her from her reverie and for a single moment she imagines that when she turns it will be Oliver smiling down at her. The moment is quickly dispelled as she spins to find Diggle looking at her with concern and something else she doesn't want to think about right now.

"Hey, We didn't't expect you to come in" She notices Roy hovering in the background and briefly wonders how long they've been there. Oliver would not be happy with her attention span right now.

"Things got a bit quiet in the office, so thought it might be better if I helped you guys out from here. "

He nods his acceptance. "Roy and I were just going to do a little training-"

"What the Hell are you doing here?!" Felicity and Diggle both jump at Roy's anger, and turn to see Malcolm Merlyn making his way down the steps to their very secret lair. How did these guys always know where they were? Felicity rises from her seat and follows Diggle as he moves forward, Gun raised.

"You have about 30 seconds before I put a bullet in your head.." Malcolm raises his hands, his face seems almost pained.

"I have a message.." His eyes drifting to each of them. "There have been whispers….. From the League."

They all stand in silence, awaiting the inevitable news and Felicity feels as if she can't breath, her eyes stinging as the heavy words reach her ears. "Oliver Queen is dead."

She's not sure how long they stand there before she turns back to her computer screens, unsure what to do, what to say. It wasn't true. It couldn't be. She would know. She takes a shuddering breath allowing it to fill her lungs but unable to push the pressure off her chest.

"Why should we believe you?" it's a half hearted demand from Diggle, his voice wavering slightly.

"I don't really gain anything by telling you. I thought you should know….I…I don't know how to tell Thea."

"That you sent her brother to die for her to save your own skin" The anger seeps into Roy's words, his hands making fists, desperate to take this guy down.

"I've been keeping her safe"

"She'd be safer when your dead" There's another tense silence the words still rolling of the walls.

"Where's the body…" it's barely above a whisper and they all turn to look at Felicity. Roy feels himself deflate and move to place a hand at her back. He can only imagine what she's going through. Malcolm clears his throat, shaking his head. "I'm sorry, I don't think it was recovered"

Recovered? Her mind races… what does that mean? How could they not recover it? Because he's not dead her body screams. She can feel her emotions, anger rising against the pain in her heart. She would know. If he was really dead… she would know. "Get out." It's just a mumble at first. Malcolm's still speaking but his words just seem to be jumbled. Fought hard. Honourable…

"Get out!" She whips round, throwing off Roy's hand and glaring at Malcolm.

"You heard her." Diggle raises his gun once again as Malcolm nods and leaves the way he came.

"We should have killed him." Roy looks from Diggle to Felicity trying to control his haggard breaths, bringing his anger under control. "Digg?"

Diggle turns to the metal table before him, dropping his gun and resting his hands on the cold surface, his head slumped in defeat. He shakes his head, his chin trembling. "God Oliver…"

Felicity takes a shuddering breath and slips back into her chair staring unseeing at the screens before her.

Malcolm's words seem to echo once again off the walls. "Oliver Queen is dead"

It seems a long while before any of them speak again and its Diggle who breaks the silence. "I….I don't know what we do now"

"What do you mean?" Roy looks up at his mentor and friend, his eyes stinging as he holds back any further tears for their fallen friend.

Diggle seems hesitant and lost, waving a hand in the air. "I…. all of this…without Oliver."

"We carry on." Both men look up in surprise at the calm and confident way she speaks, her back ram rod straight, her head held high and just like that she starts typing. "We do what we always have. Take care of the city. Continue his crusade"

"Felicity…." Diggle glances at Roy sharing a concerned look.

"There's still crime…..still work to do. Oliver will be pissed when he comes back and we've let the city fall back to bad habits." She nods to herself.

Diggle sighs as he pulls himself up to stand behind her, dropping a comforting hand on her shoulder. "Felicity."

"He's not dead." She counters to the unspoken words. "He'll be back…He's survived the island…..Hong Kong….Slade….The count….and so much more than we don't even know."

"Felicity…" Her computers bleeps as some alerts are pulled through and she pulls up a couple of police reports.

"Look likes there's been some home invasions…Maybe you guys should patrol …see what's going on. I'll see what I can find out."

Diggle lets out a hard breath and nods. He knows she just needs some time. He can give that to her. He squeezes her shoulder and inclines his head to Roy, as they both move to change.

"John…." Felicity turns to her friend, her voice a little more hesitant than before. More unsure. She glances at the glass casing. "Maybe you should wear the hood tonight?"

Diggle moves in front of the case, staring at the leather outfit. Feeling an ache run though his chest.

"It's a symbol…..People need to see it. Until he comes back" She nods to herself again in assurance and turns back to the screens, lost furiously in her research. Diggle takes another steadying breath and readies himself for the night ahead.

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><p><strong>AN: Please let me know if you want me to continue and any ideas you'd like incorporated. I plan to bring in Laurel and Thea...not sure about the whole atom thing yet. <strong>


	2. Chapter 2

**AN:/ I hope this is ok. I had planned to stick with Felicity but Diggle just felt like the way to go here. I feel I may have rushed it a little. I know exactly where I want to go with this story but just trying to link the pieces together really. Hope you like it. I know Diggle would probably be more likely to confront Felicity and be more available but he's dealing with his own grief.**

**Thanks for the Favourite and Follows. Thanks mjf2468 for the words of encouragement **

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><p>"You don't think she's gone a little crazy?" Diggle tries to focus on the warehouse across from him. There's a new version of vertigo moving through the streets. Roy managed to place a tracker on a local dealer which has brought them here and from the looks of it to one of a number of bases belonging to the Triad. Perfect. They need to get this stuff off the streets but with the Triad involved this is starting to take on a whole new level and Diggle is really feeling the loss of their third.<p>

"She just needs time." He grumbles giving Roy a sidelong glance. Felicity has already advised that there are at least 6 Triad members inside with there happy go lucky dealer and was in the process of calling Lance.

"Its been a week since Merlyn showed up…..and she keeps acting as if Oliver's going to walk back into the foundry at any minute." Roy hisses and Diggle lets out a deep sigh. He knows that their partner in crime is holding on tight to an impossible hope but if it keeps her getting up in the morning and helping to save the city each night he's happy to wait it out. She needs to come to this in her own time. And when she does, and he hopes its soon, he'll be there to help her pull herself back together. He'll support her as he always will. For Oliver.

"There's no proof to say he won't other than the words of a psycho killer. I've seen that boy come back from some pretty dire things" The words hold little weight and Roy only seems to be voicing his own thoughts.

"He had a duel with the head of the league of assassins. The demon…..Some how I don't think he misses."

"Roy." Diggle signals to the opposite building noting their targets coming out of the warehouse to load the trucks. He turns on his comms "Felicity…Looks like the deals done. I think we're going to move on this now."

"Lance is on his way with Back up about 20 minutes from your position."

"I don't think we have 20 minutes…" he retorts, already calculating there next moves motioning to Roy.

"Digg I think you should wait for Lance…" Diggle and Roy seem to come to the same agreement, a quick nod and they are both clear that they have to make a move now despite felicity's cautious words. They've been walking a wary line for long enough and its time the Arrow took back the night. They move to opposing sides and take shots from the corner of the buildings and Diggle's quite impressed with his own accuracy (hitting water does help…who knew) and then they are racing through the air down the zip lines both knocking one Triad member off his feet. They have a slight advantage but the gap is quickly closing.

The dealer races for the truck and Roy manages to shoot 3 out of four Tyres before he's set upon by two of the triad. Diggle can see him holding his own but has little time to spare for his partner as a burly guy takes a swing for his head, there's another one behind him and he seems to have lost sight of the third. He's quick and manages to deflect several blows before a knee to the chest sends him to floor. It only takes a few seconds once he's back on his feet and he's able to get an elbow in to the cheek of the shorter of the three. The momentary surprise gives him enough time to throw a punch that sends him off to the land of nod. Two to go.

He's just about got a neck hold on one when the second comes for him and he's able to kick him off with his feet, swinging around the second guys neck, just as Roy appears clearly having dealt with the other two triad members and its just as they feel they are getting the upper hand that they here the click of the gun and turn to find the dealer standing before them.

"That's enough…" He's nervous, a little jumpy and they both share a look before letting go of the final two triad members left standing. They stumble to stand beside the dealer who seems to grow an inch taller now he feels he's calling the shots. Before they've even had a chance to react further, there's the sound of a low whistle and then a loud crack before the dealer drops the gun and falls to his knees. As the surprise passes a further cracking sound is heard as the metal swoops through the air taking out the final two Triad members.

It takes a few minutes for the two Men in their leather suits to adjust to the sight before them. Dressed in her own black leather with the same blond hair and black mask is the canary and they both stare in absolute wonder.

"Sara?" Roy whispers unable to fathom how she is standing before them.

"No afraid not " the figure mumbles sadly and then she's pulling off her mask and wig revealing the face of Laurel Lance. The sounds of sirens stops any further discussion and Diggle comes back to his senses just as Felicity's warning them to get the hell out of there and She is really not a happy bunny.

Diggle mutters a gruff "come on" and they race their way to the van parked round the corner and make a speedy getaway.

There's a tense silence as they make there way back to verdant and then Laurel smile. "Well don't all say Thank you at once."

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><p>They make their way back to the foundry, Diggle starting to feel a few of the punches as he moves now that the adrenaline is seeping off and he's already bracing himself for the tornado that's brewing as they make there way down the steps. Yep Felicity has the look she usually reserves when Oliver does something stupid.<p>

"What the hell? I told you guys to leave this for Lance… Why am I even bothering to be on the other end if you're just going to do whatever the hell you want?"

"Felicity, we can't keep running away every time things look a little more dangerous." Roy quietens down on her seething look and is readying himself to back Diggle, when Felicity switches gears. Her angry gaze focusing on Laurel.

"Why'd you bring her here?"

"Hey I totally saved these two."

"They wouldn't't need saving if they just listened to me in the first place." She gives Diggle a pointed look, before she turns her gaze back on Laurel. "And you shouldn't even be out there-"

"Excuse me?" This is definitely not a fight Diggle wants any part of. And He sends a mental annoyance to Oliver for dropping this inevitable cat fight in his lap.

"This isn't a game - You can't just stick on a costume and hope to be some hero"

"That's not what I'm doing. I can help."

"Oliver wouldn't want you out there-"

"Well he's not exactly here to do anything about it, is he?" It takes a moment before Laurel closes her eyes in regret of her words. A silence settling over them all as they spare a thought for their friend.

"He'll be back" Its barely a whisper but Diggle glances sadly at felicity her eyes downcast, her shoulders sagging almost in defeat. The anger seems to drain away from her body as she lets out a deep sigh, gathering her bag and coat.

"Felicity…" He tries to stop her with a hand on her arm but she shrugs it off, muttering her need to leave and half-hearted words of work and projects. She avoids everyone's gaze as she moves quickly up the stairs and he stops himself from following after her.

"I'm sorry….I-" Laurel falters, her voice breaking slightly as she stares up at the ceiling in an attempt to keep the tears at bay. "What does she mean….is Oliver…." She looks to Diggle a slight hope in her eyes but he can't hold her gaze.

"He's dead. She's just…..She's having a hard time." Laurel nods a sadness setting against her features once again. "She is right though. Oliver didn't want this for you and neither did Sara." Her gaze meet his, but he notes that there's no anger there, just a look of deep loss that probably matches his own.

"When Thea told me…" She swallows against the lump, wrapping her arms round her chest. "…I…I didn't know what to do. I…." She waves- down at herself. "I thought this….Being the canary. Maybe I can honour them. I want to help. To do something….I'm afraid of what I'll turn to otherwise" He knows she's talking about the booze and he feels his heart go out to her. He's never been Laurels biggest fan but in that moment he could only remember that she had been important to Oliver at some point and he owed it to his friend to care for her too.

"Well I know we can't stop you. But They would at least want you to have some backup out there." He sees the question in her eyes and a small look of relief. "I think you should join us….I know we could use all the help we can get." He moves to stand in front of her, placing a supporting hand on her shoulder. "I don't know what happens next, but I know we'll all be stronger together."

"What about Felicity?"

"I'll talk to her….Come by tomorrow. We can all teach each other a few things. Roy always needs a few pointers"

"Hey. I'm right here. Not cool man" There's a low chuckle and Laurel takes a steadying breath.

"Thank you"

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><p>This has quickly become Diggles favourite time of day. Spending any given moment with his beautiful daughter is so precious and chases away all the darkness of the day. He's in the rocking chair with her lying in his arms and he cannot hold back the joy he feels of having her there. She calms him as his mind drifts to his team and his friends. He's hopeful that he has made the right decision with Laurel, that she is safer with them than out fighting on her own. He hopes Oliver would approve of the choice.<p>

He can't help the worry that rises for Felicity. She seems even more exhausted and even further determined to believe that Oliver is out there somewhere. He can only hope to pull her from the darkening abyss she seems to be falling into, he just wish he knew what to do.

"How can I help her…hmm? She's one of my best friends and I'm afraid I'm going to lose her." He looks down into the innocent eyes of Sara, smiling as she takes a hold of his finger squeezing it almost in comfort.

"Bit early to be asking her for advise." Lyla smiles from her position leaning in the door way arms crossed over her chest.

"You're back, Everything ok?" He smiles as she takes a few steps towards him moving arm round to rub his shoulder as she looks down on their daughter.

"Yeah….you ok?" He gives her a weary grin with a small nod. "Just thinking."

"Don't do too much." She kisses the top of his head, her thumb coming to rub his ear.

"I miss him. He could be a pain in the ass but…"

"He was your friend. "

"He was my bother" He lets out a long sigh, watching as Sara starts to drift off to sleep. "I should have stopped him. I should have been with him." He shouldn't have let him go alone. They were partners. This should have been their fight together.

"He had to do it alone. Its not your fault Johnny" She moves to take Sara from his arms and lay her in the bassinette careful not to wake her before seating herself into his lap. He wraps his arms round her waist and rests his head against her chest as she drifts her fingers over his head, trying to ease away the pain he is feeling.

"At least I have you and Sara….I don't know what I would do." She shushes him, pulling his face up to press a soft kiss against his mouth. She rubs her thumb along his cheek, rubbbing away the stray tear that falls.

"Lets go to bed" he nods, lifting her into his arms and she quickly settles against him. He glances once more at his sleeping daughter. Thanking the heavens for making him so lucky. For granting him this second chance. Wishing that Oliver could have been as Happy as he was.

"I wish I could help Felicity…I just… Don't know what to do."

"All you can do is be there for her. As always" He lets out a hard breath, swallowing against the dryness in his throat. "If you think it will help…I'll call her - organise a girls night. Ok?" He presses another kiss to her mouth, muttering an I love you before carrying her off to the bedroom.

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><p><strong>AN Hope to have the next part up sooner than this chapter. Ideally before episode 3x10 airs :) Please review and let me know what you think. I am planning to introduce a couple of DC characters soon**


	3. Chapter 3

AN: I'm not sure how I feel about this chapter. I wanted to include something from Roy - This seemed the only real opportunity as to follow will mostly be from Felicity, Diggle and possibly the DC character I spoke of earlier. I hope you enjoy and I hope to post the next chapter within the next 24hours. Thanks for all the favs and the reviews.

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><p>Roy Harper readied himself for the next attack raising his arms in a fighting stance, hands spread wide as Laurel circled him. "Better stop wasting time Lance and make a move."<p>

"You're the one afraid to fight a woman"

"I prefer other activities" he waggled his eyebrows suggestively knowing it would get under her skin as she made a quick swings for his head which he manages to avoid, countering with a tap on her backside. She turns giving him an exasperated look. "Come on Roy. Take this seriously"

"We've been at this for hours. My backs hurting from the last time you knocked me over"

"Oooh diddums" He had to laugh at that. He'd been shocked at how quickly they had hit it off. Who knew Laurel Lance was actually fun under the tough exterior she put up. He grabbed a towel and bottle of water wiping his face and glanced briefly at his watch.

"Somewhere else to be?" She teased sliding up next to him.

"I was thinking of meeting Thea later…." He answers simply, shrugging. Laurel picks up her own water leaning against the wall evening out her breathing.

"How's she doing?" Roy gives her a half shrug before picking up the bamboo sticks they had discarded earlier.

"As well as expected. Its hard to tell these days…she's….kinda closed herself off. I can't really blame her. After everything that happened…. She doesn't seem to be able to catch a break." Laurel raises an eyebrow at that and he gives her a small smile "I guess I'm preaching to the choir"

"It just takes time." She places a hand on his shoulder giving it a light squeeze, before taking one of the bamboo sticks moving into a ready stance to begin again. "Just be there for her. She'll remember that in the long run." He nods and moves in front of her and begins his attack, a swift swing from the top which she quickly blocks and counters with her own. She manages to catch him across the cheek when felicity comes running down the stairs. "I got it! I got it!"

She races to her desk, slightly out of breath, not bothering to greet them, barely sparing a glance for Laurel. "Where's John?"

"Right here" He says moving down the steps, a couple of bags from Big belly burger in hand. "I've been trying to call you all day."

"I found it" Felicity announced, practically bouncing on her feet. Roy moves forward to take some of the bags from diggle and dish out the orders. He throws felicity a curious look, having not seen this energy in her for a long time and it makes him feel good to see her almost like her old self. Almost.

"The location of Luther Vandernought? " Felicity looks slightly guilty at Diggle's question, quickly turning back to her computer to check that the search is still running for there latest scumbag before she pulls up the data of her latest find and Roy feels his joy start to dissipate. The video is grainy but there is a clear sight of Oliver Queen. Felicity shows them the flight manifest and operations Log from the day of Oliver's departure talking animatedly but Roy can't help the unease he feels and shares a sad knowing look with Diggle.

"…..it's a private Jet - owned by the Russian Mafia - Bratva." She gives them a real Felicity smile and Roy feels a pang in his cheat that it might be the last time they see it. Once she accepts Oliver is really gone…He's not sure if she'll ever be the same again. Her smile falters when she notes the looks on their faces and he feels only slightly guilty. He waits for Diggle to say something. To finally get her to see reason. He would support Diggle's decision, he knew her better but a part of him felt that letting her carry on this charade would do more damage in the long run. He glances at Laurel and sees the same hesitation and sadness in her eyes.

"It's the flight he took - to get to whatever the neutral site was."

"So?" Felicity shoots a quick glare at Laurel but it doesn't seem to deter her at all. She turns her attention fully to Diggle obviously having decided Roy and Laurel are a lost cause to her crusade. Roy tries to plead with him over her head. "He must have been able to sort something with Anatoly which is funny after the whole drama Oliver had last time with the Bratva.. That didn't look like they were going to be too helpful in future. In fact pretty sure Oliver thought they'd" She makes a cutting motion against her throat. "But boy he can charm anyone right?" The hope in her voice doesn't go unnoticed and he can already see Diggle giving into her. "We could go there …get a drink you know like you guys said with Anatoly and-"

"You want to go to Russia?" Diggle cuts her off, a slight look of disbelief and confusion, matching Roy's who thinks Felicity is quickly falling off the deep end.

"I already worked it out with Ray so I could go to our offices in Russia sort out their networks system - which is actually pretty flawless since I already went over it all with their Internet security officer when it was queen consolidated but Ray seems to just believe any line these days…and…" she starts to sound a little defeated as she nears the end of her ramble, the earlier excitement trailing off slightly as Diggle shares another glance with Roy "…I could use a bodyguard Maybe?"

"Felicity…Even if this leads somewhere " He leaves the words unsaid in the air but its clear Felicity refuses to hear them and Roy tampers down the urge to grab her by the arms and shake her. Scream at her that he's gone. That she needs to accept it. To grieve. He feels Laurels hand on his arm and notices that he had moved a step closer to do just that. She gives a little shake of her head and motions for them to move a little further aside. To leave Diggle to speak with Felicity.

"We'll be closer to finding him then"

"I don't know if…" He can hear the pain in Diggle's tone torn between the loss of his friend and the one standing before him struggling to accept the inevitable.

"I can go on my own, but I figured since Roy has laurel helping out now" He sends Laurel a small look of apology at the dig which she shakes off "….Anatoly would probably prefer if you were there too but….Like I said I can go…"

"No. I'll come with you…" It takes everything in Roy not to scream. "We should see where it takes us."

"Great - we can leave tomorrow." That makes him turn back. She couldn't be serious.

"Sunday's Oliver's Memorial. Thea's been killing herself planning it. We have to be there. She needs our support." Felicity turns a little surprised almost as if she had forgotten they were there. He sees her shoulders sag and notes the tried look in her eyes as they narrow almost in confusion. Then she shakes her head, plastering on a smile. "We'll be back in time….Might not even need it"

He struggles to hide the disbelief but her phone rings before he can say another word, and she tells them she has to head back to the office to meet Ray about some….other project. She's pretty vague and looks a little guilty but then she's back off up the stairs disappearing in a rush of blond hair. Diggle drops himself into her chair, dropping his head in his hands.

"Are you out of your mind? You're going to go with her to Russia?" He can't hold back the anger any longer. Its all wrong. They should be helping her through this but instead they are just helping her keep up the delusion that Oliver is coming back. And he can't help but feel more angry with himself. He hadn't really taken any time to talk to her about everything, he'd been so wrapped in helping Thea that he had let one of his best friends spiral into a whole world of crazy.

"What else am I suppose to do?"

"This isn't good for her. When she finally realises…." Laurel trails off with a small sigh.

"We'll be here. We'll help her….but if she needs to do this. To prove it to herself….I'm going to be with her." Diggle settles down to eat then ignoring Roy's gaze.

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><p>Sunday comes sooner than he likes, with no word from Diggle or Felicity. Thea has yet to shed any tears over the loss of her brother, at least not in front of Roy and a part of him aches for the girl he knew. He still loves her and as every moment passes all he wants to do is take her in his arms and hide her away from the world. From the pain. And from Malcolm Merlyn.<p>

But he soldiers on ever the good friend. Letting her know that he is there for her, touching her as much he can. Squeezing her shoulder, resting a hand on her elbow or across her back. He stays with her through out the morning as they ready everything for the service. There's not too many coming, now the Queens are just another name without a billionaire attachment people don't seem as interested and he's partly grateful. He's sure that Oliver would have preferred it. Just close friends and family.

Thea gives him a small smile when he rests his hand on her waist, pulling her into his side and he feels it tug at his heart, she moves her head to his shoulder. "Thanks for being here with me."

"I don't want to be anywhere else." As the guests arrive she moves to mingle but he ensure he's always only a few feet away. He's watching her talk with her step father when Diggle and Lyla arrive and he moves to greet them.

"Hey - How was Russia?" Diggle gives him a dark look, shaking his head.

"Dead end. I'm not sure we'll be welcome back either….Felicity wasn't exactly happy with the outcome." Roy raises his brow at that, hard to imagine how she may have reacted especially now. He takes a look around and then asks "Speaking of….Where is she?"

"I've been calling her all morning…Thought she might already be here."

"I haven't seen her. You think she'll come?" Diggle sighs and gives a light shrug as Lyla takes his hand.

"She said she would."

Laurel turns up with her dad in tow giving them a small wave before moving to speak with Thea. Not long after the priest motions to the start of the service and they move to their seats. Diggle and Roy still watching out for Felicity but seeing no sign. Roy takes his seat by Thea, slipping his hand in to hers and she squeezes back. He glances only once more behind him, before turning his attention to his mentor. His friend. He tries to remember when he first met Oliver both as Thea's big brother and as the arrow. He smiles at the training Oliver had put him though, of all the time in the foundry. He thinks of Oliver's proud words every time he told him he did a good job and he struggles to stop the tear from falling down his cheeks. He feels Thea's head resting against his shoulder once more and he presses a kiss into her hair, before moving an arm around to pull her closer. He sent a thought of peace and rest to Oliver and vowed to do everything he could to keep Thea Safe. Oliver will not have died in vain.

The service seems to flow smoothly and much of the rest is a blur of faces and words. He spends every moment with Thea and feels a slight pull back to who they were. Diggle promises to check in on Felicity before he leaves and they share a hug before heading there separate ways. He drives Thea home not much later with few words spoken. He chooses to stay and she lets him. They sit quietly in front of the Christmas tree she has yet to take down and after a while he breaks the silence to tell her he loves her. And that no matter what he will always be with her. He feels the wet patch on his chest and she wiggles closer and he holds her tight as she finally cries for her brother.

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><p>an: Please leave a review and let me know what you think. Thanks<p> 


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: Its pretty much Felicity-centric from here. Hope you enjoy. The next chapter should include the DC character who will be...Lady Shiva. **

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><p>Felicity leans back in her chair staring at the salmon ladder as she has been for the past few hours since their return from Russia. She can almost hear the clang of metal on metal, remember the pure look of concentration on his face, every grunt as he shifted from one level to the other and his small smirk when he caught her staring at him. She allows herself a small smile, closing her eyes to stay in the moment a little longer but when she opens them he's gone. The pain assaulting her senses once more. "Where are you Oliver?" She can't ease the sense of loss on her heart, she's been clutching at straws for so long and she's right back where she started. With Nothing but the absolute belief that he is alive.<p>

Russia had been a complete bust though Anatolya tried to be a most gracious host. Apparently Oliver disappeared not much longer after he arrived and other than some cash there was little more aid Anatolya provided. He promised to put the word out, but she heard the doubt in his tone and felt the pity in his gaze. She didn't need his pity. Oliver was alive. He was out there somewhere. And he was in trouble….Or something. For some reason he couldn't get back to them. She may have said this in a few selected words, and if they didn't have problems with the Bratva before, they sure did now. She doesn't remember much of it but Diggle's silence on the way back is enough to know she had probably taken things too far. She doesn't care.

They barely spoke on the trip back and she'd been grateful but could have done without his constant looks of concern. She is not crazy. She knows its only a matter of time before he wants to talk. Before he tries to convince her that she's wrong. This only feeds her need to prove Oliver is out there. Somewhere. But she can feel parts of her resolve beginning to crumble with every day that passes.

She glances down at the black dress she wears, pulling on a loose thread at the hem. She had meant to go to the service, only stopping by the foundry to hack a number of systems in Russia, anything to run her facial recognition software against but then she had found herself drifting by every moment she had spent here. How many times she had sat in this seat fearing the worse only for Oliver to show up with a new scar or two. She even pretended for a moment that she was just waiting. Waiting for him to make his way back after a successful mission, moving quietly through the back to greet her with a small smile and a job well done.

This is where Diggle finds her and she avoids his gaze for some time as he takes a seat behind her letting out a long sigh.

"You missed the service." She doesn't think he needs an answer and she doesn't really feel like explaining herself. So she lets the silence envelop them and for a short time she forgets he's there and all she can see is Oliver's face giving her that proud smile when she manages to do the impossible task he sets her.

"Felicity" He's closer now and rests his hand on her shoulder, but she shrugs it off. That was where Oliver used to touch her. Before….Before the date that wasn't and the muttered end of maybes and beginnings of never. She should of done something then. This wasn't easier. She can feel the frustration seeping from him and she tenses for what's to come but is surprised when there's nothing further. When she finally turns to him he's standing with her coat in hand waiting by the stairs. "Come on…Lyla's making dinner."

She wants to say No. To tell him that she just wants to be alone. To continue her search. But his eyes are pleading and she feels the guilt ebbing at her heart. She'd been so wrapped up in everything that she had neglected the only person she had left who understood. So she gives her search one last glance before letting Diggle lead her out.

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><p>Diggle has long ago gone to bed , while Lyla and Felicity are well into the second bottle of red wine and Felicity is welcoming the warm buzz through her body. Lyla seems to have had a little more than she has and clearly failed to build back up her defense on alcohol since her pregnancy. Felicity can't help but feel a little more at ease than she has in some time, enjoying the few moments of peace. Lyla tells her tale after tale of some of the crazy things that she has done in her past. Not missing any silly stories about Diggle which Felicity has filed away to tease him about later. Maybe.<p>

"And then he looks up at me with this dopey grin as if he wasn't standing in the middle of the mess tent butt naked" There's a further fit of laughter before they start to settle again, Felicity shakes her head and drinks a little more of the wine closing her eyes and leaning back against the couch. She can feel herself drifting slightly and then Lyla is shifting uneasily.

"So….How are you? Really" Felicity opens her eyes, noting Lyla's pointed stare. She gives her a small smile, her fingers tracing along the stem of her glass. "Are we at that point of the night?"

"John's worried about you.."

"I know." She takes a steadying breath. "How am I suppose to be? Everyone's convinced he's gone."

"You don't think so?" Lyla queries cautiously. Felicity takes a few moments before answering, trying to find some way to convey what she is going through..

"If something happened to John….don't you think you'd know. You'd feel it somehow?" Lyla seems to give her a short nod of understanding. "I can't explain it." She knows she may come off crazy still but now she's started she can't seem to stop herself. "I just know. I know he's out there somewhere and for whatever reason he can't come back. We just have to get him. Like we did when he went to Lian Yu."

"Felicity….He fought the head of the League of Assassins. They aren't exactly known for taking prisoners. And Ra's Al Ghul of all is the worse…The stories…." she trails off with a small sigh.

"We've faced a lot of bad people you know…Slade Wilson, the count…"

"This is different."

"Why? Oliver's always found a way. He was gone for 5 years and he came back even though everyone had written him off for dead."

"Ra's al Ghul isn't some average man." Lyla lets out a frustrated breath, hesitant to continue but wanting desperately for Felicity to understand.

"What?"

"We don't know much….but the things we do know." Felicity waits for her to continue "We…Our database…the information we have spans decades almost over 100 years."

"…On the League?" Felicity narrows her eyes, trying to follow Lyla's line of thoughts.

"No…Ra's Al Ghul."

"You're telling me you all think Oliver was killed by an 100 year old man with a walking stick?" in her slightly drunken state the image it conjures brings a weird smile to her face. Imaging Oliver's reaction, but she shakes it off. Focusing on Lyla's words.

"No…Felicity …This is crazy. He doesn't look a day over 40 or so it goes. The legend is…he has access to these…pools. They're called Lazarus Pits. The idea is …it could keeps someone alive for decades maybe even centuries. They say he's been using it and….A.R.G.U.S has been searching for them for years. it's a myth but….I mean the things we see. Look at your friend in Central city"

"You know about Barry" Lyla gives her a "well duh" look. "Of course we do. There's little we don't know Felicity."

"Except where Oliver is?" Lyla lets out a deep sigh, pulling herself to her feet feeling her eyes getting heavy.

"Believe me …If I knew he was out there somewhere. You and Johnny would be the first to know."

"Lazarus….Like the guy who rose from the dead" She can feel her mind ticking over. What if Oliver had managed to find this? To heal himself. That could be why the league thought he was dead. Or Ra's al Ghul might have brought him back….to make him join them like Sara…or…something. This was proof wasn't it? Or a lead to it. She can hear Lyla continuing listing deaths and stories of great defeats at the hands of Ra's Al Ghul. The fear held by all who follow him. She must have gotten lost in her thoughts because suddenly Lyla's nudging her and holding out a blanket and pillow.

"Think you'd be better staying here tonight" Felicity nods, taking the items but her mind still needed to know more. She needed to know what exactly A.R.G.U.S knew.

Lyla mumbles a good night and heads to bed and Felicity lies there for a while. A million scenarios racing through her head and then she sees it. Over at the desk corner = a laptop. She doesn't think she's that lucky but then why would Lyla feel the need to hide it in her home and the encryption on it is probably out of this world. She hears Oliver's voice in her head 'Lucky your hacking skills are out of this universe', She stuffs down the guilt and moves quietly booting up the computer and getting to work.

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><p>Felicity leaves quite early the next morning having uploaded a ton of information to her own Servers at the foundry, bouncing through a number of proxies and servers to cover her tracks. She pops back to the office to make an appearance and Ray is determined to show off his latest device. Some form of handheld weapon that he can't quite program to fire on demand with out sending a shock through the user. She promises to take a look and get back to him and heads to the Foundry.<p>

She can't help how much better she feels when she's there and knows its because she feels closer to him in his lair. And her images of him are so much more vivid when she's there. She readies herself to review all the data she'd compiled from A.R.G.U.S a slight thrill at the idea of being just a little closer. She's sure they know more than they've said. Likely even Lyla isn't completely in the loop.

She compiles a number of searches, taking time to cross reference and read as much as she can. She finds a file on Oliver and skims it briefly not wanting to delve to deeply on what they have on him. But it is clear they believe he is dead and have spent no time searching for him. The data on the pits spans a lot more than she thought but reads mostly like fiction and hearsay. Anyone thought to have found them has either never returned or been found to be completely insane. Others could never prove or know where it is. But the League of Assassins are known to have at least one in their possession which suggests the idea that there are more out there. Resting unknown. There are links to tales of the fountain of youth and a number of legends and myths but nothing seems to provide anything substantial.

She thinks about Sara. Did she know about this? Is that how she joined the league. Had Oliver been right. Maybe she had died on the Island and they'd found her and brought her back. Maybe if that had got word to Nyssa she would be alive now. She feels a deep pain in her chest. Sara had been a good friend to her. It had annoyed her at first, the way she had talked to her as if she were some naïve child, always telling her how cute she was. Sara had told her afterwards that Felicity made her feel good, happy to be around. The innocence made her believe she could be better.

Felicity closes her eyes against the images of Sara's Body. The three Arrows sticking from her chest. She doesn't want to think of that. Not now. She has to focus. She can feel the beginnings of a headache and tries to re-read the data in front of her. After some time she turns her thoughts to Malcolm Merlyn and his time with the League. Maybe he knew something that could help. Something that could lead her to answers. He had been them much longer she's sure. A brief thought runs through her head that she would probably be better of running through the streets of Nanda Parbat calling out the league of assassins than considering seeking the help of the Dark Archer.

"Desperate times…" She sets to work on the material she will need to persuade Malcolm Merlyn for his help. Its not much longer before Laurel arrives with Roy following shortly behind as they ready for a patrol. Felicity decides to wait for Diggle to let him know what she's found to show him that there is a chance Oliver is out there. If Barry Allen can be hit by lighting and come back faster than light. Then Oliver could survive a duel with Ra's al Ghul. Because there really wasn't any other option. And she wasn't even going to contemplate how much crazier her thought processes are becoming.


End file.
